Giving is a big undertaking. Giving to others. Counseling. Doctoring. Nursing. Mothering. Fathering. Leading. Teaching. Mentoring. So many ways that we do giving. Endless ways.
But sometimes the give makes us give in, give up, give out, give away the last little bit of ourselves that we have, only to find that there’s nothing left in the tank when we go to reach for our own resources. For our own good, our own benefit. To give to ourselves.
This is where prayer, mantra, time quiet with the self becomes critical to the refuel.
Not everyone needs this time. Some may read this, or any post of mine and think to yourself that this is all poppycock feel good feel bad feel anything jargon.
But to others, to the givers, the true givers here on Earth, it resonates.
You understand rope’s end. You grasp not just the frays of that strand but also the inner understanding of what it’s like to have life stand in the way of your pathway to peace.
Your days are filled with a steady flow from the vessel you pour from. Whether that’s caring for little ones, big ones, for patients, for clients, for students. For all of the above all in one week. And oftentimes you may find yourself taking that vessel, turning it on its end and shaking it, peering inside wondering, did I leave a drop for myself?
This is a reminder to leave drops for yourself. Or better yet scoops and heaps of your give needs to be for the self-give.
We cannot help others without putting our own oxygen mask on first. It’s part of flight safety. And it’s part of psychological safety.
When we do not follow these important life sustaining instructions, we risk bitterness, rage, giving up, giving into the idea that love, belonging, joy, and freedom are also ours. We may provide those spaces for help and and healing for others. But when we overlook the critical importance of looking after ourselves, we risk the fall of going overboard. And last I checked the captain is best suited to be at the helm. Not swimming after the stern.
Take time to make time for you. No excuse. No ifs. No ands. No buts. You above all else are deserving of the love you so easily give.